A Power Once Known
by Shopowner93
Summary: Regina's on a road to redemption, but very few know how difficult that really is. Snippets, scenes, and fill-ins from season 2.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back for my second fanfic. Thanks to anyone who's reading. I hope you enjoy.**

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Part 1:

Regina was not going die.

She stood still, quivering at the knees, for a few moments, arms held out at her sides, and simply panted. She counted the breaths that came out, slowly realizing that the next one would not be her last, nor would the next, or the one after that. She was saved. But she hardly got a second to formulate that thought, before a heavy shadow passed over her body.

"Where are they?"

She looked into the red-brimmed eyes of the prince. He loomed over her, a head taller, his large muscled shoulders seeming to overtake Regina's body. She blinked quickly and tried to ground herself.

"I have no idea," she breathed, but he she had hardly gotten an answer out before he charged after her, his big wet face inching towards hers.

"Are they dead?"

She choked, "The curse, it destroyed all the lands—"

"Are they DEAD!?" he roared, finally jarring her back to her senses. She was not going to die. The wraith was gone and with it the threat of her soul being sucked into a boundless and hellish oblivion.

"I don't know," she fired back into David's face.

In this close proximity, Regina could see the shift in his eyes; the bright, sad blue turned into a dark black as endless as the hole that had just sucked the wraith through, a hole that had also sucked in Snow White and Emma Swan…

He lunged, bringing a thick hand up and clawing it as if he was reaching for her neck. "I should have killed you myself—"

But Regina was faster. "Then what's stopping you," she hissed.

She pressed her hand against his hard chest and pushed, her newly invigorated blood sending David flying through the courtroom until he slammed into the far wall. The numbness of shock melted away, quickly replaced with the power she had once known. The wraith was gone; the thought ran circles through her head, each passing yelling at her that she was not doomed. Right behind that thought was another, one that was even more satisfying. Emma Swan had fallen down that hole. Emma Swan, the one woman standing between Regina and her son, had disappeared right into another land. And even better…

Regina drew in a relishing breath. The rustic wallpaper of the courtroom came to life and wrapped David—Prince _Charming_—in its thick tendrils, squeezing the life out of him. His tears of desperation turned into fat globs of pain and his fury turned to terror. Terror at her, terror at what she could do.

Even better, Snow White had fallen down that hole. Personal enemy number one. She was gone, dropped an entire world away, with a hungry wraith in tow. Regina smiled, imagining a useless Snow White, a shell without her soul, and curled the fingers of her tingling hand until the arm-sized vines of the wallpaper crushed the chest of her last victim. In one swoop, in less than thirty seconds, three of her greatest enemies had been taken from her sight, forever. Now she could be at peace, now she would truly be happy. All she had to do was finish this last one, the weakest of them all.

"You think you're some heroic prince?" she leered at him, stepping forward until she was as close to him as he had tried to get to her. He could do nothing against her bonds, gasping in air her could not reach, and the simplicity of this kill almost made her back off. Almost. "Please, you're nothing more than the son of a shepherd. I should have killed you when I could, and now, I can."

Regina opened her eyes wide, absorbing the sight of Prince Charming's heroic façade crumbling under her hand, his strangled cry caught in his tight throat, and she squeezed, an elation filling her body just as quickly as life left his—

"Mom!?"

Regina froze, her eyes falling from the shepherd's face until she was staring at nothing. She strained her ears, wondering if she had heard correctly. Nothing else came, and she thought for a moment that it had been a trick of her mind. But she could not trust her brain and so quickly turned her head over her shoulder to check.

"Henry, what are you doing here?" she breathed.

It was not a trick. Standing by the entrance of City Hall was Henry, her son, her baby. Forgetting about the peasant in her grasp, Regina walked around the closed, white wooden gate and approached her son, still hardly daring to believe that he was really there. _Mom. _The name bounced around her skull. Yes, she was still his mother.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"It's okay," she hurried over to his side, stretching a hand out to touch him. Her little boy. "You're safe now."

Behind them, the shepherd gasped as if it were his last breath. She heard him collapse to the floor, but Regina only had eyes for her son. She stared over every inch of his skin; it was almost glowing in the pale moonlight of the courtroom. He had been so white, so cold only a few hours ago. She squeezed a hand to his shoulder, as if she could feel the life in him. The waitress from the diner, whom Regina had only just noticed, gave her a scowl and then ran behind her, presumably to David. Regina did not care.

"Where's my mom, where's—" Henry cried, his beautiful eyes darting to every corner of the large room, as if they would come waltzing from the shadowy corners.

"They're gone," Regina told him over David's loud gags and coughs. "They fell through a portal, they're…Henry, I'm sorry."

She had infused her words with all the hopelessness she could because she was sorry. Not sorry because those wretched people passing for humans were gone; no, Regina was more than thrilled to be rid of them, but sad at the anguish her son was feeling. She could see the pain flash across his brown eyes the moment she'd said it. If only there was a magical solution to pain…

"No, you're not," he said shaking her head. "You really are the Evil Queen."

The nickname—a name she had relished in the Enchanted Forest, a name the exuded power and instilled fear in all of her lowly subjects—sounded so vile coming from her eleven year old son. Regina pursed her lips, remembering the many times she had heard from other people who Henry believed she was. Archie had told her once; even the dim-witted Miss Swan had alluded to it. But from son's mouth…

"I don't want to see you again."

Regina reeled, pushing back a little to take him in. Henry took a step away and shook his head at her but she spoke quickly, capturing him again in her grip.

"No, don't say that." She almost wanted to scream it, as if that was the only way to catch her breath again. She struggled to keep the tears out of her voice. She took his chin in her head, drawing his eyes up, ensuring he heard every word. "I love you."

"Then prove it," he demanded. She could not appreciate the forcefulness before he continued. "Get Emma and Mary Margaret back. And until then leave me—leave everyone—alone."

Regina shook her head. He did not know what he was saying. He was just upset. Henry was such a sensitive boy; he had been devastated at the death of the Sherriff. He was just so young. He could not understand the reality of life. Sometimes people died, sometimes you could not bring people back.

"But where will you go?" she begged, trying to get him to see the impossibility of his words. She had not expected what came next.

"With me," groaned a voice behind her.

Regina turned slightly to see David Nolan, clambering unsteadily to his feet. He glared at Regina as he hobbled over to her, but Regina did not falter as he would have liked. She stared him down, her dark eyes boring into his and threatening him to come closer. But the shepherd dared and it was not until he clamped a hand down on her son's shoulders that Regina finally peered down to find, with a knife-jabbing horror, her son smiling proudly at her enemy. David pulled her son away, the tattered hat that he had pathetically flattened under his brutish body, held tightly in his hand. The waitress followed them out the door, all the while throwing Regina an animalistic scowl, eye locked until she was forced to turn the corner.

But Regina hardly saw any of it. The image of her son, Henry, smiling up at David was burning her retinas. She felt the sting of tears behind her eyes and closed them tightly. No tears would fall tonight. With her heels stomping against the checkered floor of the courtroom, Regina hurried out of City Hall and raced to the street until she was standing the middle of the sidewalk.

She found herself in the middle of a pitch-black, war torn Storybrooke. Not a soul stood out in the eerie silence with her. Her son was not there. He was already gone. The wind whistled through her ears and the night seemed to fade into a deeper blackness.

Regina felt her fury rise. She pictured again, David Nolan pressed against the wall, within inches of his death. He always seemed to escape at the last moment, but never by any act of his own. That man was always being rescued, helped, aided by some stronger soul. This time, that soul had been her son. Henry, who was a hero for everyone, including her. How dare he take her son from her? How dare the man exploit her boy in that way? The only person she loved, kidnapped right from her hands, and Regina had let it happen. She boiled over with self-disgust and rage and knew if only she was stronger, she could whisk herself right in front of them in a puff of smoke and blast the Prince away, winning her son back. If only she were stronger.

Regina smirked as if the prince stood right in front of her. He would regret the day he had challenged her. Magic had returned to Storybrooke and that meant that she could not be stopped. She was the mayor of this forsaken town and now, she was its Evil Queen. Regina turned and marched down the sidewalk, headed back to her large mansion, her sanctuary. She needed to get her son back, she needed more magic.

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**So thanks for reading. I would really appreciate any review, comments, criticism you guys have. I am not an Evil Regal and really not a huge fan of Regina but this season has opened me up to sympathizing with her. I love the Charmings and already wrote a story about them. I would love to do more on them, especially with so much fodder from this first half of the season, but I think the greatest challenge a writer can take is stepping outside of their comfort zone.**

**So, this is my challenge, to fill in some scenes some Storybrooke scenes and explore how difficult this redemption is for Regina. I am going to try to stay as close to character as possible, which means exploring her faults, misguided thoughts, but also her humanity. In all, it should be fun.**

**If you have suggestions or just want to chat, feel free to PM me, I'm always willing to have a discussion. I hope you enjoyed.**

**-Shopowner26**


	2. Chapter 2

Part II:

"Does it exist?"

It had been such a simple question. Yes or no. But she doubted whether Charming understood just how loaded it really was. Not just for him—he desperately wanted to know where his family was and would have listened to anything that got him one step closer—but for Regina as well. Does it exist?

She had swallowed and said yes. She had told the truth. Regina sank down into a chair and wondered how long it had been since she'd last done that. It was not so difficult to talk, to speak some semblance of the truth. But an all-out truth, a statement spoken without deceit or manipulation, those were rare from Regina. And yet, she had answered truthfully to the one person she despised more than anyone else in Storybrooke.

She could see the long run, projecting herself into an undetermined time. She had answered yes and had launched the fake prince, the man always looking to prove himself, into an unachievable mission. But Regina knew him; somehow, he would find a way. He would bring her enemies back. How, she did not yet know, but she was certain her one word answer—such a simple word—had ensured her own misery.

Why had she answered yes? Was it because she sensed something in the bright blue eyes of David Nolan? The question was a test but she felt, in those moments where truth and lie fought for position, that she was ill-equipped to battle him this time. Somehow he had come more prepared and she was, setting her up in a trap. She could have lied. Henry had not even been there, it would not have affected him. She could have lied, stamping out the idea that Snow White and her daughter could be brought back.

Yet, it did not matter now. She had made a decision. Henry and Charming had walked out again, bodies touching, saunters strangely similar as they walked away from her as they had done just the night before. Again, she let it happen, except this time hurt so much more.

Yesterday, she had been certain that she could find more magic, and with it, she would gain her son. And she had won. She now had magic. It felt as if she were still inhaling its pungent scent, enriching her starved body. Her skin tingled with excitement and she had to keep rubbing her arms to calm herself. Her chest burned with pride and swelled with the magic yearning to be expelled. Regina had felt powerful in her time as mayor, watching over the miserable citizens of Storybrooke, enjoying as they bent to her will. But she had not remembered true power until she had marched back into City Hall at full strength and watched them each wilt just under her gaze. She had sent bodies flying, caught an arrow in her palm, and set a fire blazing over the heads of everyone who dared threaten her. She had magic and she had her son.

"If you have to use magic to keep your son, you don't really have him."

Regina stood abruptly from the table and hurried to the kitchen where she took down a glass and pulled out the bottle of apple-tinted wine. She watched the bubbling wine slosh in the stout glass, trying to drown her thoughts in it, to no avail. Prince Charming had been right, the bastard. She did not have her son anymore. Magic had repelled Henry as strongly as it had attracted her. How had they become so different? She loved Henry, couldn't he see that?

"I don't want to be _you._"

"You really are the Evil Queen."

Words laced with desperation as if Henry knew they were fruitless. But he had been wrong. She did understand. Regina understood more than most, more than anyone else in all the worlds. It had only taken the words from Henry's mouth to remind her: she did not want to be _her_ either. Not in the beginning.

Nothing was supposed to be as it was. She was supposed to be happy. That's what the curse was meant to do, take away Snow White's happiness and transfer it all unto Regina. Regina was going to smile everyday of her life; she was going to laugh again. Gods, when had she last laughed?

A voice told her, not since Daniel's death, but that was not true. There had been good memories with Henry. The time he finished an entire book on his own and recounted the tale, so excited she thought he might choke on his own words and the week he had gotten his hands on a joke book and told every one of them over breakfast. She still heard his eight-year old cackle as he spit up eggs, laughing so hard. Even now, through her despair, the memory made Regina smile. It faltered slightly as she remembered the next book he had gotten attached to.

It was all Regina and her mother again—history repeating itself in the worst of ways. It was too late for she and Cora. Her mother was dead and even if she hadn't been, there was no happiness for Regina with her. But with Henry, there might still be a chance and she had to get there again. She had to hear him laugh; she needed to be happy.

Regina supposed it was that need, the all-consuming hunger, to be happy that had really driven her to tell Charming the truth. It was about Henry, but maybe it had been a little selfish as well. Magic and curses and lying and deception had only dug her deeper into the endless well of wretchedness and all Regina wanted was a way out. That's all she had ever wanted. Charming had offered her a way: redemption.

"Then prove it," he had barked at her, taking advantage of the little authority he had.

And proved it she had. She told the truth, and a small part of Regina's humming body stilled, reliving that moment over and over again. To tell the truth had not been so awful. Charming had promised to take of Henry, a promise Regina doubted she could trust wholeheartedly, yet for just a moment he had spoken to her almost calmly.

"So I'm a prisoner because you love me." More of Henry's words that had summed up her entire lifetime with her mother. "That's not fair."

No, it was not fair. Her entire life Regina had promised herself she would not become her mother; she would never be so demanding, so overbearing, so disconnected. Even with her mother gone, her influence tossed away, it was a promise Regina had broken. She had become Cora and if history ran its course, so would Henry. She could not let that happen. She had to be better. She had to find a way out.

Regina set down the glass of alcohol and marched into the study, snatching her mother's spell book into her arms as she walked. The door swung open at the wave of her hand and fire sprung up, expelling heat as if it had been burning for several minutes. Regina crouched down and held the book over the sparking flames, but just as her fingers peeled away from the embellished cover, she tighten them against the spine, staring at the jeweled heart on the cover.

She could be Regina again. She could go back to the times when she had not used magic, when her heart had been lighter, despite the tragedy. She did not need magic, but this book was a part of her mother, part of her past. It was a reminder of everything Regina had finally remembered she did not want. Regina stood and walked over to the cabinet, setting the book on a free stand and closing the door.

She told herself it would be there as motivation, she did not need to burn it. Out of sight, out of mind. She did not need magic. She promised Henry she would do better and now she was promising herself.

She walked out of the study knowing, this time, she would keep her promise…she hoped.

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**Thanks for reading. **

**To my first reviewer, Jason, I know a tender moment between Regina and Henry was what we all wanted, but I'm going to stay as close to the source as possible on this one. Besides, I think Henry had a lot to be angry for. I think Regina needs to earn her hug, the way she did in Queen of Hearts. That made it all the more special, it was a reward, an invitation back in. She will get a hug, I promise. She's just got to deserve it first.**

**(And yes, Henry is one of my favorite characters.) :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who's reading.**

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Regina was already at the head of the stairs before the door behind her slammed shut. She jumped at the bang but continued on, head bowed as she clacked down the worn wooden stairs, her heels digging into the grains.

She hadn't used magic in two days. Two. Days. Two long and seemingly endless days. It had seemed so simple in the beginning. No magic. She just knew she would be able to do it. Yet, as the first day dwindled into night, she found her arms tingling with an insatiable urge. The blood seemed to pool in her hands, pressure building up until Regina was sure she would make the entire house explode, not t mention herself. When the buzzing reached her ears, she had hurried to bed and gone into a deep sleep.

One day down.

It was as if she had been drinking. She woke up in the morning with her head so groggy she had literally stumbled from her satin sheets and collided with the bathroom door. She splashed cold water against her face, over and over again, as if she could get it into the pores, into her blood and calm it. Already she could feel the buzzing returning. She distracted herself with a shower.

The entire day had been spent in distraction. She took an extremely long shower, reaching over forty minutes before the water turned too cold for her to stand under. She stayed for an extra three minutes. Regina cooked an overly large breakfast, as if she were inviting all seven of Snow White's dwarf friends over—though she never would. She tried not to think of Snow White. She cleaned the entire kitchen, top to bottom and even rifled through the cabinets, throwing out snacks Henry had never eaten and food she did not want to cook. She scrubbed the floor and polished the wood surfaces until her pale reflection gazed back at her. She finished with the kitchen too early.

Regina moved onto the house at large and forced herself to walk passed the pictures of Henry in the hall—Henry at age five, just starting kindergarten, a tooth missing in the side of his smile; Henry just before the start of third grade, his bangs curling into his eyes. Regina had not gotten to take him for a haircut before the picture was snapped. The long hair annoyed her the most, but as she passed it from the bathroom, mop in hand and gloves strapped around her fingers, she grinned. Her son really was beautiful.

And it was for her son that she had been doing all of this, but as the mansion sparkled under her scrutiny and precise brushing and the hands of the clock stilled, it became even harder to ignore the buzzing. The constant urging had her rubbing her arms again, as if that could quell the magic inside her.

It almost felt unnatural. Magic in the Enchanted Forest had felt like a missing piece, a piece that had been taken from her at birth, and when she finally retrieved it, she became whole. After Daniel's death—which she was also trying not to think about—magic had filled a small space in the hole of her heart. It had been her hope, her salvation, and finally her freedom. Yet, in Storybrooke, magic felt like an intruder.

Perhaps it was because magic was so unstable here. She knew that more than anyone else, maybe even Gold, who seemed too preoccupied with whatever he was planning next to really understand that magic did not belong to this place. Regina knew he brought it over; it was his fault, as was almost everything in the long run, but she doubted that he understood the ramifications.

Here, magic was unpredictable. Here a simple fire could spiral out of control until it had swallowed everything, killed people, and turned the sky black with its ash…

Regina shook her head and put the cleaning supplies away. She needed another distraction. Cleaning had been wonderful, monotonous to the point of boredom, but she had filled it with such purpose it had flown by. It had flown by too quickly. She took a glance at the clock and felt her stomach drop. It was only three in the afternoon.

She considered taking a nap, falling into a sleep long enough to dim the impulse, but decided not. If she slept too much in the afternoon, she would only be left with hours of pure darkness where she would have to battle herself and her memories. Better to suffer now. She tried for some reading. The office was filled with books she had never once touched. She had woken the first day of the curse to find a home stocked with the most impressive collections of novels and vases and jewelry and furniture. She had been both quite pleased with herself and her success and at the same time oblivious to the names of Hemingway and Shakespeare and Tiffany and Coach. In twenty-eight years she had learned much, but she had never found the time for leisurely reading. Sometimes running a small town was even more difficult than ruling over a nation.

Regina combed over her smooth, dark wood bookshelves, fingers running lightly over the stiff leather-bound spines of the books. She inhaled their musty aroma, imagining she could smell the trees the paper had come from. She had always been comforted by the trees, the forest. She soon found herself in front of a cabinet. She opened it and reached inside. It was not until the blood-red jewel glinted in the bright sunlight of the office that Regina realized she was holding the spell book.

She bounded from the office as if it were on fire and crashed through the front door until she was standing on the front stoop, panting. She needed to get out of the house, as far away from the book as possible. She started down the cobblestone path but stopped when she reached for the gate.

What was she thinking? This was not her Storybrooke. This was a cursed land recently awakened. She could not go for strolls down the sidewalks; she no longer had the pleasure of being able to clear her head. She gripped the cold metal gate and glanced over her shoulder.

A weight dropped onto her chest and she knew turning around was not an option. She would no longer be able to fight it. She had to release some of this energy. She had to keep her promise to Henry, to herself. She must not use magic. She needed a distraction.

And so Regina had finally done something drastic. She had gone to see Dr. Hopper. She stood at the door, nerves filling her and making her shake in her heels, though she could not understand why. She had marched into Dr. Hopper's office so many times before, to pick up Henry, to discuss treatment plans, to intimidate him into following her orders. But now it was as if he held the power over her. Regina was sure that a rejection would send her right back home, right back to the book. If Dr. Hopper did not let her in…

But he had. He insisted she talk about her use of magic. He reminded her again that magic was the reason she had lost everything in her life. She had bristled at that, but had no time to react before Whale barged in, demanding nonsense. She brushed him off and sat stunned when meek Dr. Hopper stood and threw the surgeon out. That had been a great distraction.

She was glad she had gone…until Dr. Hopper settled back down. He pushed. He pushed her to talk about Daniel, to admit that she had brought him over. He pushed her to remember those horrible memories. She remembered Rumplestiltskin and her first lessons. She remembered the feel of magical hearts in her hand, heavier than would be expected, as if the person's entire body rested in the palm of her hand—technically they did. She remembered the grittiness of the crushed heart, the way the grains flowed from her fist, their pulsing stopped. She remembered the choking noise her victims made.

"If you can't let go of the past, Regina. It's still going to haunt you," he had said. Regina snapped then.

"You know what," she glared at him through bloodshot eyes, "I think this has been quite enough."

He called her back, begged and swore that he could help but Regina slammed his own door in his face.

And now she out in the street, seeking another distraction. Regina climbed into her blue Mercedes and slammed the door, this time relishing its sharp crash, enclosing her off from the world. She thought of Granny's, but immediately knew it would only further her frustration. Besides, there she might run into Henry and as much as she desperately craved that, he was sure to be in the vicinity of Charming. Another meeting with him would be volatile indeed.

Regina pulled away from the curb and sped into town, driving with no sense of purpose, but still ending up where she usually did. She stepped out and swept into Town Hall, climbing the stairs—another distraction—to her office on the second floor.

Why she ever thought it would be easy is beyond her. What got into her head? It did not matter now, she told herself. She was at work and work always filled her head with numbers and emails and letters that had to be written. She wondered how long she would be able to keep the seat. How long would the citizens of Storybrooke allow her to reign over them? Clearly, they were more than willing to form a mob. She smirked at the memory of Whale pushing her against a wall. If she's had her magic then, he'd be nothing more than a bug at her feet. What had Gold said about turning people into snails? Whale would certainly be one she'd step on.

She stayed well past five. Somehow, in the days that she had not made it to the office—being locked in jail by the Charmings, threatened by a wraith, and hunted by rankled citizens—her paperwork had piled up. In one night she got most of it finished and only went back to the car when she felt her eyes drooping. She was bone tired, which meant she'd sleep numbly tonight.

So engrossed in her work was she that Regina had not noticed that it had started to rain, which felt fitting. Even this world was against her attempt to stop magic. She willed herself the strength to _not_ plug a stopper in the sky and ran out into the rain, slipping in her leather heels, and dove into the car. Shaking her hair back, Regina started it, appreciating the little wake-up the water had given her, and headed for home.

She cursed as someone ran through a stop sign, her foot slamming against the brake. As she rolled her eyes, her heart stopped. It took a moment for her brain to register her body's reaction, but even less time for him to recognize him.

Daniel.

Standing at the corner of Main Street, the last outfit he ever wore drenched in the downpour, hair matted against his forehead, was Daniel. Her love. Regina only got a second before a fork of lightning shot through Storybrooke, blinding her. She blinked and he was gone.

Regina stuttered out a breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly to stop her shaking. Even her toes shook as the image burned her eyes. Daniel had been standing there, she was sure of it. He had looked right at her. He had been drowning in water. But the longer Regina sat there—and she sat for a good ten minutes—the more sure she was that he had not been there at all.

It was a side effect from her meeting with Dr. Hopper. The stupid cricket had brought up all of these memories for her, had delved into her haunting past, warned her that it would haunt her again and had forced this hallucination into her consciousness. Regina shook her head and eased off of the brake.

She took another shower once she arrived home and did not bother to dry her hair before she crawled into the sheets. It was Dr. Hopper's fault that she'd seen him. She had only wished he had been there, staring at her through the lightning. Then she would not have felt so alone. In this world, Regina had no one. She had Henry, at one point, but he was gone with the strictest exclamation of never wanting to see her again. He demanded change and it was something she was struggling to do. But as much as it hurt, Regina knew she had to keep trying, because she had never done it for Daniel. Daniel who begged her stand up to Cora. Daniel who died because Regina trusted the wrong person and finally grew a backbone too late. Regina shuddered.

That was why she had seen him. He had been a ghost telling her to do it right this time, warning her. He was not haunting her; Daniel would never do that. He was the only one who loved her. Even beyond the grave, he was trying to help her, in the way he had always done. He was telling Regina he was there for her.

Regina closed her eyes and squeezed the pillow into her face, begging for the distraction of sleep. The last thing she thought, before the numbness pulled her in for another couple of hours, was that she would check Daniel's tomb in the morning. Just to be sure, she would check.

Two days down.

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**Thanks for reading. Please review. I hope I'm capturing Regina appropriately. I find her a challenge to write for, though I still think the greatest challenge will be writing Rumple or even Belle. **


	4. Chapter 4

Regina sprinted after David, hurrying down the hospital steps and out into the parking lot. She followed him to his car, which was the closest, not even thinking about the odd pair they made.

Daniel and Henry were at the stables. Daniel was real, alive. The thought alone made it hard for her to breathe. She felt like grinning until her teeth broke and at the same time, like hiding away. Happiness for Regina did not last long, and she knew that. As David peeled his rattling truck from the lot and raced down the streets of Storybrooke she tried to forget that Daniel had just decapitated Whale.

It had not been his fault, of course. He had just been brought back to life. Of course he was confused, maybe violent. Surely Whale had provoked him as he so often did for her. Daniel was a gentle being both in life and in death. She knew in her heart that he would not hurt Henry. The two people she loved, in the same place. Regina shook her head.

"Why would you leave my son in the stables by himself?"

"He's ten, Regina," David snapped, whipping the wheel to turn a sharp corner. "He's old enough to spend some time on his own."

"Only ten," she sneered drawing out her words for emphasis. She only prayed it would get through David's thick skull. "I asked you to care for him."

He glared at her from the corner of his eyes, "I seem to remember the same ten year old wandering the streets of Storybrooke whenever he pleased under your care. At least _I_ know where he is."

Regina turned away, gripping the seat through clenched teeth as David ran a bright red light. If she had not been doing so well off magic she would have shot him out of the car then and there. Instead she turned her thoughts back to Daniel.

What would he look like? She had seen him in the rain last night, had he been looking for her since then? She imagined his soft, dark hair, the way it curled behind his ears. He had always had such beautiful dark eyes, eyes she wanted to melt into. How would it feel to be in his arms again? Over forty years had passed since he had last held her, but Regina could still feel the hard stable boy muscles under his shirt, her face against his chest, the way his chin dug into the crown of her head. She could still imagine his lips.

David finally skidded to a stop. Having forgotten to fasten her seatbelt, Regina went flying into the dashboard. She turned to scowl at him but David was already out, leaving the door wide open. Regina jumped out after him and they sprinted again. She could not appreciate the ancient wood of the stables, or the familiar scent of the horses. She slid over the hay, just feet behind David. They rounded a corner and Regina had to stop suddenly, before she crashed into him.

"Daniel, let him go!"

Daniel had Henry hoisted into the air, one of his thick hands wrapped around her son's neck. The panic rose like hot bile in Regina's throat and she watched in horror as Henry's little face turned bright red. He struggled, kicking the air and clawing at the hand at his throat. But Daniel had heard her. He peered over his shoulder and Regina was struck dumb. Daniel was really alive.

Henry had not even hit the floor before David was in the stall dragging him out. Henry choked but his grandfather hauled him to his feet. Regina heard David's deep voice screaming, but she had no idea what he was saying. She stared at her finance and felt the tears brim in her eyes.

"It's true," she whispered. "You're really here."

Daniel brought his dark eyes up and Regina's heart fluttered. He was confused, disoriented, but he recognized her. She grinned as he started forward.

She felt a hard shove and she was propelled away from the door as David slammed it shut. She could hear Daniel's pounding. Regina steadied herself and turned confused, to David who was holding the stall door closed with his entire body. The wood shook as Daniel fought to get out, to be with her.

"It won't hold for long. Can you cast a spell to subdue him?"

Regina snapped to attention. "No," she shook her head, incredulous that David would ask that of her. "I won't use magic on him."

A frustrated grunt escaped David's nostrils as he flipped over, his back holding the door firmly and dug into the side of his jacket. He pulled a small handgun from its holster and turned back to the door. Regina gasped and grabbed onto his lapels.

"What do you think you're doing?" she yelled. The pounding had finally stopped. Daniel had given up, he was frightened, probably exhausted.

But David was yelling back, "He's a monster Regina! If you won't put him down I will."

"David, please!" she begged. She could not let him shoot Daniel. She could not loose him again. "Just let me talk to him."

"It's too big a risk," he said, his voice a notch lower. "There's no telling what he'll do."

But he was not listening. Daniel was not a monster. He was the love of her life, the only person who had ever given a damn about her and what she felt. She had to protect him. All he wanted was to be loved, the same as her. Here was her chance, standing right behind the door. Forty years she had been searching for her chance at happiness and it was right there. If only David would listen to her…

"You have to at least give me a chance," she cried.

"Out of the way, Regina!" He pushed her even harder, until she stumbled several feet. "Now!"

"NO!" she screamed. She launched her body, much smaller and weaker than his, and pounded her fists against his meaty arms. A part of her knew what David was trying to do, but Regina had reached hysterics. "I won't let you hurt him! He'll listen to me!"

She clawed at him until he backed away slightly, shock permeating his face. He paled and lowered the gun, but Regina clung to him crying and begging, in a way she had never begged anyone. For years, she had been the Evil Queen but in that moment she was a child, a woman in love, a desperate girl.

"Let me talk to my fiancé," she finally managed.

David stared at her for a few moments. He held one hand on the door, though Daniel was no longer fighting against it. Regina could feel her arms rise and fall with each of David's deep breaths. She watched as his eyes flickered between her tear-stricken face and the splintered wood of the stall door. Regina was almost shaking with anticipation. She forgot that she had magic, that she could blast the man away from her and get what she wanted. She forgot that he was a simple shepherd and not the sheriff he pretended to be, he had no authority. Yet Regina felt he did. Perhaps, she gave it to him as she stood shivering against his chest. It was as if she needed his permission for this. She needed him to give her this one thing.

"You have to stop him," David breathed.

All Regina heard was the approval. As he stepped out of her grasp and turned, running the length of the stable, Regina placed a hand to the wood. There was nothing special about it really, but in her mind it was warm and pulsed with the beating of Daniel's heart.

She peeled the door back and stood in the middle, her eyes wide and her heart threatening to burst from her chest. Her fiancé stood, hunched against the back wall as if the sunlight hurt him. He looked up slowly, like a small animal afraid of being eaten, but stood up straight when he saw her.

"Daniel," Regina gushed. She opened her arms, ready to run into his, as he rushed at her.

His hand closed around her throat and she was knocked up against the other door, choking as the hand, warm with blood, squeezed tighter.

"Please stop," she managed in a small voice. "It's me."

Her vision blurred and she felt as if the muscles in her neck were close to snapping. Her attempt to swallow air, saliva, anything, failed and she was left with only one breath as the hand closed.

"I love you," she said, exhausting herself.

And then she could breathe. Regina gasped, drawing in sandpaper-like air and stumbled against the stable door as her body lurched, searching for more air. She panted and stood up, finding her Daniel staring with perfectly round eyes.

"Regina," he whispered. His voice had not changed.

"Daniel," she answered, finally charging into his arms. Nothing in her entire life had ever felt so right, so perfectly amazing. It was as if his arms had been molded just for her. She melted into him, crying, "I can't believe it's really you."

He dug his chin into the crook of her neck, but as she wrapped her arms tighter around him, he tensed. With a jerk, he pulled away. She called his name, grabbing onto his arms but he shook his head and shrunk away from her.

"Stop," he gasped. "Stop."

She recognized the pain. She heard the same gurgling noise he had made as Cora drove a hand into his chest. She latched onto him, bringing his eyes up. "How?"

He took a moment to draw himself from the agony. She needed to know how to sooth his aches, how to make it stop, but his answer turned her heart to stone. "Just let me go."

"No." Regina shook her head before what he said fully registered. When it did, she was even more adamant. "No, I won't lose you again. Without you I'm lost."

He jerked from her arms, his head twitching. He closed his eyes and choked, coughing as if his throat were clogged.

"Daniel," she called, she begged, she cried. "Daniel, come back to me. I love you."

Regina felt his wet hands clamber until he held her face between them. With one immense effort, he drew his eyes unto hers—brown and brown—and said slowly, "Then love again."

But she couldn't. Love who? Who was there left to receive her love? Everyone she had ever cared for was gone. Love again? Love him? Love him enough to kill him, to put him out of his misery and forever end the pain? Love him enough to give up her lifelong battle? But then, what about her? Who was there left to love her? Who would ever love the Evil Queen?

Daniel had finally broken away from her and he cringed, shaking against the pain. Regina had finally started crying, earnest tears working their way down her face. She already knew how this would end. She knew her happiness could not last long.

"Daniel?" she pleaded one last time, but when he looked up—stopped quivering and looked at her—it was not with the eyes of the stable boy she had fallen in love with. He looked at her as a monster.

Regina shook her head desperately, but the monster charged. The magic swelled like her hot tears and she raised a hand as he came close to her. He collided against the wall of her charm, freezing as the magic enclosed him. As much as Regina wanted to fade into a blackness, she kept her eyes open, desperate for the last glimpses of her love. With one hand she held him in place and with the other, sweeping in a small wave, she turned his body into a fine ash. A shriek escaped her as the ash blew with the breeze and floated away from her.

"Goodbye, Daniel," she choked out. She dropped her arms and stared at the space in front of her as if her love would materialize before her again, whole and human.

When she realized he never would, she broke.

Regina did not know how long she sat on the floor of the stables and wailed. It could have been hours or it could have only been seconds, but in that time she knew only pain. It was worse than the first time he had died, worse than saying goodbye to her mother, worse than killing her own father. In her mind she saw only two things: the grains of Daniel's lost body drifting from her and the smile he had worn the night he held up a simple key ring and proposed to her.

"Where is he?!" she heard.

In her misery she somehow recognized David Nolan's voice and for once, she did not hate him.

"Gone," she whispered without looking up.

"Gone!" he yelled. "Gone where?!"

"He's gone!" Regina screamed and she could sense David's body freeze above her.

He stood awkwardly and Regina suddenly wondered if he was happy. Did he look at her crumpled on the ground and smile, revenge eating at his heart? Let him look, she thought bitterly. She did not care anymore.

But in the next instant he was kneeling beside her and enclosing his arms around her. He pulled her up, lifting her dead weight, as she did not help at all. She could barely feel him touching her, as if her nerves had been expelled with the magic that killed her beloved.

So lost in the nothingness that was her mind, Regina did not realize that David had dragged her from the stable and lifted her back into the cab of his truck until they were well on their way back into town.

"Henry?!" she said suddenly jumping in her seat and turning around to find the backseat empty.

"He's safe," David told her, taking his eyes off the road to meet hers.

She should have inquired more—David Nolan did not seem to have a good understanding of the word "safe"—yet Regina did not have the energy to. Just as she could not muster the emotion to hate the man beside her, she could not bring herself to argue with him. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. She let the rattling truck lull her into a stillness, but she did not sleep. She doubted whether she would ever sleep again.

She did not feel David's eyes flickering over to her during the fifteen minute drive. When he pulled the truck to the curb outside her home, she found she could not open the door. She stared at the large white mansion and wished she were with Daniel—gone in some netherland where their spirits could be together. Finally realizing she was still in the vicinity of David Nolan, she moved, but stopped when he called out to her. Regina turned her head and faced him. She expected pity or even humor, satisfaction, but not the sadness he looked on her with.

"I'm sorry for what you had to do," he said lowly and Regina was surprised to find that she believed it. In some way, his voice—more than the words he spoke—were telling her that he understood. For just this moment in time she was not the Evil Queen and he was not Prince Charming. They were two people who had suffered tragedy. "And I'm sorry I pushed you."

Regina licked her lips nervously and turned away, opening the door slowly, doing only what her aching muscles would allow, and sliding to the ground.

She face him again as she closed the door and in the moment before the metal of the door found its frame, their eyes met and David nodded at her.

"Thank you," he said. The door closed.

Regina walked up the path and stopped just before the door, listening to David's car pulling away. She placed her hand on the painted wood and paused. If she went inside, what would happen? Would she drink until the blackness she craved finally did take her? Would she find more magic?

She turned to look at the street and decided instead to walk. She folded her arms across her chest and thought of nothing, letting her feet lead her away from her home. She secretly wished one of her many enemies would run up behind her and take off her head.

She made it all the way onto Main Street before she looked up. She was outside a green door, one hand on the knob. The lettering on the glass read:

Archibald Hopper, therapist

It took extra long to climb the stairs but when she knocked on the door, the Doctor answered immediately.

"You're back," he said, not bothering to keep the shock from his voice.

"I used magic," Regina said, shaking her head against the fresh wave of tears.

He did not turn her away or call her evil. He did not tell her that she was hopeless or that she was being weak. Instead he extended a hand out.

"Why don't you come in and tell me what happened."

Regina walked in for her second session.

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**Thanks for reading. This chapter is a little sad, but I actually enjoyed writing this one. I know a lot of people don't like what David did to her, but I believed he was in the right. They were both desperate-him to protect and avenge Henry and her to talk to her lover. I thought it was a wonderful moment between them, even though it was so charged.**

**Please review and thanks again.**


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5:

Her heels clacked against the concrete as Regina pumped her way over to the town diner. Sidewalks, she marveled, taking a glance at her feet. Why hadn't they had that in their world? Here she could march down the street, power radiating from her, without fear of getting her heel stuck in the mud or pierced into the earth. Regina shook her head and bit on her lip, trying to tame the smile coming. She was much too excited if she was considering the usefulness of concrete.

Though bright out—or as bright as it could be with Storybrooke's gray sky—the diner's sign flickered brightly, urging Regina forward. She hurried, not wanting to keep him waiting.

She flitted up the stairs quickly and turned the knob, stepping into the syrup and grease odor of the restaurant. As usual, a hush came over the diners. Regina faltered for a step. She was used to the diner quieting at her entrance; it had been a constant reminder of the fear she instilled in her residents. Now, she felt that fear two-fold but it was tainted with something strong, a loathing that shone through the eyes of the patrons.

But she would not let that ruin her mood. Glaring back, Regina swiped her eyes across the tables. Henry had not yet arrived and so she marched to a booth in the back—Henry liked the booths more—and slid in ready to wait.

Normally, the teenage waitresses, the their skirts hiked up to their waists, would come over and hand her a menu, but it seemed as if this trip would be special, for the old proprietor, Granny, came over and dropped one of the menus on the table.

"Your out?" said the old woman, her voice laced with contempt.

"I'm not a prisoner," snapped Regina.

Granny only shrugged. "Yet." With a downward look, she started to walk away, but Regina called her back.

"I'm going to need two," she said pointing to the menu in front of her.

The woman gave her a humorless chuckle and tossed another on top of the first. "Try not to set them on fire. I just updated them."

Regina rolled her eyes. She checked her watch and realized that Henry would be walking through the door in a matter of seconds. She picked up one of the menus, perusing through it quickly. Henry always knew what he wanted—a burger and fries, extra ketchup—and she did not want him to have to wait any longer for his food. He was always starving after school.

She felt at ease at first, thinking about all the progress she had made. She had not used magic in a week. Well, if she did not count Daniel, then it had been a week. She carried her heart heavily and often found herself heading towards the depression she had felt when Daniel had first died. Sometimes, in her mind, she replayed the moment her mother had taken his heart. She heard his gasp and watched him collapse, all while Cora stood over her, a deep look in her eye. To avoid the memories, Regina tried to keep busy. She still went to work and went through all of her paperwork. She found that working helped keep her focus, helped keep the urges away, especially since she'd been asked to move out. The Sheriff himself had informed her of the petition the officials in town had raised. She acquiesced silently, not bothering to fight a loosing battle. She rolled her eyes again, thinking about the stunned look on David Nolan's face.

Remembering David, Regina peered up from her menu and realized that it was now two-thirty. She had been waiting five minutes. As if it would make him appear, Regina craned her neck to peer through the glass of the front door and then turned the other way to see if her son was making his way down the street. Catching nothing, she sat back and eyed the blue clock above the counter.

Another five minutes passed and Regina wondered if Henry had stopped to talk to a friend, though a voice told her immediately that Henry did not have friends. She shifted in her seat, recalling one of her earlier meeting with Dr. Hopper.

"He's my son," she had said, accentuating every word with a nod.

"But perhaps you could learn to share him…"

She did not want to share him. Henry belonged to her, but Dr. Hopper had spent an entire half hour trying to convince her it was best for him. She supposed it was, even agreed that it was what he wanted. Still, as the clock ticked minutes passed, she grew more anxious to have him in her arms.

"You have to let him come to you…"

She scoffed, trying to get Dr. Hopper's words out of her ear. She checked the clock again—two forty-five. Disregarding everything Dr. Hopper had said about reaching out, she pulled the cellphone from her bag and pressed two. She held it to her ear, listening as Henry's phone trilled. She heard his voice, but it was only the recording. Though she knew what it said—having sat with him while he recorded it—she pressed the phone to her ear tighter and clung to the tiny voice telling her to leave a message. It was then that she realized how long it had been since she'd seen him.

She called three times after and banged a fisted hand on the table when he still did not answer. If something had happened… Regina slid out of the booth and walked straight out of the diner, not turning to see the hateful stares boring into her back. Regina pulled the phone to her ear and scrolled through the contacts. Her hand hovered over the send button as David's phone number shone on her screen. If anything had happened, Henry would have called her, right? With a huff she pushed it through.

"Hello?" she heard through the line.

"Have you seen Henry?" she asked, making her way to her Mercedes.

"Who-"

"Regina," she barked over him. "Have you seen my son?"

She could just imagine the confused look David was pulling on the other side. "Umm, no. I-how did you get this number?"

"I'm the mayor." _Was_. She clenched the phone in her hand. "And your emergency contact."

"So you have my phone number?"

Regina groaned. "Have you seen my son?" she said slowly, stopping as if that would make him hear better. "He hasn't been answering his phone."

"No." The phone crackled. She could hear David moving on the other side. "He isn't answering for me either."

"Well, did he go to school?" she slipped into the car, slamming the door and pulled her keys from her bag.

"Of course he did," David insisted, clearly catching the accusation in her voice. "Why are you looking for him?'

At that, Regina turned the key in the ignition forcefully. "He's my son." She felt like she was saying that too much lately. It was as if no one was listening. "He called and invited me to lunch, but he did not show up. Are you sure he went to school?"

"He invited you to lunch? He called you?" he sounded incredulous.

Regina confirmed and David, seeming to have come to some conclusion, hurried her off the phone, ensuring her he would look. Regina snapped the phone shut and pulled away from Main Street, heading for the elementary school. She doubted David's competency and could not believe she had handed her child off to him.

She checked the school, the new playground, and the old playground that had been torn down. She even tried the diner again, but Henry was nowhere to be found. As her minutes of searching turned into an hour she found herself trembling slightly. She beat the steering wheel nervously, wondering if her had headed home, when the phone chimed in her purse. She fished it out and had it to her ear before the third ring.

"I've got him."

Though a part of her wanted to sigh with relief, she held her breath. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine. I brought him home."

Regina slumped when she realized where home was. "What happened to him?"

"He, umm," David stuttered into the phone, "he went to look for something."

"What?" she snapped, knowing he was lying to her.

"Something to bring Mary Margaret and Emma home. He was trying to help."

Regina let out her breath slowly and sat back, as she pulled the car to the curb. For some reason, Henry had stood her up. She hated to think of it in those terms, but it was simple. Her son had found something more important than spending time with her. Perhaps he had wanted to go to lunch with her, but Mary Margaret Blanchard and her daughter were more important to him.

"Can I talk to him?" she almost sounded weak, but her fear was confirmed when David hesitated. She quickly spoke again. "Will you just make sure he eats something? He gets hungry after school."

"I can do that."

"Alright," Regina sighed, holding back a "thank you" that David did not deserve. She pulled the phone from her ear but stopped her finger when she heard her name.

"Yes?"

"I just think you should know," said David lowly, "Henry, he's been having nightmares."

"What kind of nightmares?" she sat up straight.

"He was under a sleeping curse, right? I think it has to do with that."

Regina swallowed. She had put Henry under that curse. People were not meant to come back from that. If he was still suffering, then it was her fault. She closed her eyes. "How bad are they?"

When David paused, she got her answer. "He's okay—just having a hard time sleeping. Anyway, I just thought you'd want to know."

He hung up awkwardly, without saying goodbye, though he and Regina were not on those terms. She slipped the phone away and drove the rest of the way home in a slump. Two steps forward and three steps back. Even when she wasn't with Henry, she was still hurting him. She wondered if he made the connection, if he and David had sat up at night and talked through what Henry was dreaming about. She imagined David sitting on the side of the bed, in her place, stroking a hand through Henry's hair.

As Regina made her way through the hall, she passed the office and caught a glimpse of the cabinet where she had stored the book. Perhaps there was a mention of sleeping curses. Maybe she could find a way to reverse the side effects. She stopped when her hand was halfway to the door. If she opened that cabinet, she would destroy everything. It would be ten steps back and from that she might never recover. Nightmares could be soothed by time, but she knew it would take more than that to strengthen her relationship with her son. So, turning away from the office, Regina hurried to take a shower, hoping steaming hot water would boil away the tingling in her arms.

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**Thanks for reading! Feel free to review; I'd really enjoy it!**


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